Till There Was You

In between writing and researching, I can't stop myself and all I can do is think about you and what you are doing right now. I already sent you a message many times, but it seems that you are busy with something. I hope you will reply to me soon, you don't know how much I think of you even when I'm busy writing. Just a text coming from you is like a warm re-assurance for my heart that you are there loving me too. I just love you so much Charlene, you mean a lot to me. I hope you are safe right now, safe from harm. I just love you so much baby.

My promise to you is my real love, nothing more.
Looking forward to be with you this weekend and to possibly meet your family to show how serious I am.
I will not leave you. never. Though there were many challenges for us, I'll be strong to carry us through and withstand all these, like we did for the past year. This is just another challenge that we can hurdle, if we just do this together. 

I am listening to this video again by Lonestar, Amazed. If we get married, I want this song to be played with other songs that we like. I just can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

Love the idea of tulips for a wedding; white flowers and you in our favored wedding dress.

I've never been this close to anyone, or anything...

Down/Preparing for the Worst

I dread this moment, and it's about to happen.
And I can't explain what I am feeling right now.
I guess its my fault for asking, so I reap its effects.
Whatever her decision, I will accept it and learn to live alone once again.
The other girl must be laughing right now...
She said, 'enjoy it owenn while it lasts' and its more like a curse on me.
And it's happening.
It's lonely in here once again, no?

So much about love...

Have you felt that feeling where no matter how much you would like to get angry at someone you love for what she did, you still can't get to express that anger? Just have some very minor issues with the one I love this early evening over a cut-short phone call and Harry Potter, but instead of saying that I am truly disappointed with her, in the end I was the one who is saying 'sorry'. What I know is that I don't want her to get angry or disappointed at me because I'm afraid of losing her. If you would only know..Sending you an SMS saying:

I'm sorry and I understand and I will always do, I love U so much no matter what happens..

Know that when I sent this... tears rolled into my face.
..and it's because I really do love you and will forever understand you.

And it all falls down

This is a bad day for me. First, I was called by my manager and was reprimanded for issuing a memo to her and to her friends. She even called me a liar, and the other manager from the other affiliate distanced herself from me. This means that I am alone in my fight to correct the wrongs inside the Office. Even my assistant distanced from me and suggested that I withdraw the memo that we made. But I stand by my decision, and I am ready to resign if needed.

But what pains me is not work-related but about someone I love. It all started with YM messages, and she said that she wants to go out. And added that she will go out with anyone that will come with her. I said fine. I said be good, and she said she'll try. For me, it really pains me to hear those words. But for her, it was just a joke.

Maybe it was a joke, maybe it was not. And she said that she is hurt every time I say those words, 'be good'. I don't mean anything by those words, but just words of care from someone who really loves her. But she insisted that I don't trust her.

I said my 'sorrys' too many times, but she won't accept it.
I said I love her through text, but she won't reply back.
I said I love her through phone, but I don't get the reply.
She said that we give each other the 'space' tonight, but I said that all problems must be addressed before we sleep.
Once again, I said I love her but I got a cold reply.
Am I pushing and offering myself too much and making a fool out of myself?

I don't know what to do. I never felt this love before. But does this mean that I have to swallow my pride every time, and ask for forgiveness every time even though it's not my fault?

If that is the case just to make her stay, I will do it gladly.
If that is the case so that she will love me, then so be it.
I don't care if this seems like my situation with my former gf where she left me even though I was the one who was hurt and who was always patient and accommodating.

Perhaps this is what they call love, and I'm in love.
I don't know right this moment is she still loves me.
But here's the thing, I will love you Cha until I grow old even if you no longer love me.
And I'm ready tomorrow for your decision, when I wake up.
Whether you still love me or not, what is important is I love you soo much.

Waiting...

I'm hungry. My stomach is grumbling. My sis just sent a message that she will be late for our dinner at the mall. So here I am, online and waiting for her while my tummy is asking for my attention. Be still, my tummy.

So you are reading this, yes it's you.

I love you.

Changes...

I just realized something today. No matter what kind of treatment you give me, I will always be there to understand you.

I realized something last night. And that you find it easy to say goodbye to me and drop me. But here's what I want to tell you- I will still be here no matter what...even if my friends will laugh at me or scold me for being too soft on you.

I realized today that it's you that I want and love.

And that feeling gets stronger every day...

On our 2nd month... and lovin it

Tomorrow, September 11 marks our second month together. It’s just two months, but it feels like a long time. No, I’m not saying this in a negative light. It seems that we have been together for a long period of time, and that we seem to have experienced a great number of problems as well. It’s our 2nd month but sadly I will not spend the night with her this time. Something ‘came’ up and we had to reschedule our plans. I’m a bit disappointed, all a long I was hoping that it will never come. But it did. And she was relieved to know that fact.

But I have to contend myself with what we have right now. And there is a right time and place for everything. And I am happy that we are really going strong and sweet, save for the occasional headaches caused by the other girl who can’t seem to move on. A part of me feels sorry and sad for that girl, but I can’t tolerate her attitudes. So what I did was to totally ignore her. Better ignore her and focus all my attention to the one that I love right now. It’s nice having you for the second month, and here’s hoping that we last...until our last days. I love you.